Advantages of Being Broke

I’m often conflicted about the state of our family’s financial situation. Naturally, I always want more for Jaime, the kids and myself than what I’m providing. The state of our finances is often times depressing and a huge cause of stress.  But sometimes, being broke really isn’t that bad. Honestly, I’ve grown to believe that being broke definitely has its advantages.

There has definitely been points in our family where I’ve felt poor as opposed to broke. To me, “poor” is a lack of necessities with no clear end in site. There have been times we’re I’ve had to wipe my own butt with a stack of Wendy’s napkins because I couldn’t even provide toilet paper. At that point, I may as well have been shitting in an outhouse with my coveralls around my ankles, wondering whether or not I’m ever going to star on the show Moonshiners. Also, one of the times when I felt like I was poor was when we had our first child, Isabella. The day we were supposed to come home from the hospital, I remember being nervous because I just didn’t know if my car would make it from the hospital parking lot to our apartment without breaking down. I never told anybody that because I’m pretty sure someone would have began a Kickstarter campaign to generate the funding to have me placed in a full body condom like Detective Frank Drebin and Jane Spencer in The Naked Gun.

Thankfully, the times where I felt like we were poor haven’t been persistent. Most of the time, I just feel broke in the sense that our money is maxed out paying for necessities and for some minor luxuries like an overnight trip, a new couch or a meet and greet with Joe Piscopo for me. Being broke is a lot different than being poor because when we’ve been poor, we’ve had to go to relatives to eat. When we’ve been broke, we’ve eaten ramen noodles for dinner. I don’t care what anybody says, I like ramen noodles and so do the kids. I’ve never asked Jaime how she is enjoying her ramen at dinner, as I think I’d be punched in the face and come back into consciousness just as her and her new boyfriend peel out of the driveway to hit the road for good like a bunch of braggarts with a full tank of gas. I”ll just assume she really enjoys ramen, as well.  So things really don’t seem that bad when you’re eating them, as opposed to poor eating, when you’re sitting in the dining room, eating tuna fish and potatoes, questioning whether or not you should fight horses for $75 per bout just to put some hot cheese in your kids’ bellies.

I don’t want to go through life broke at various times, but it’s not the worst. Most of the time, it’s funny because hope is only one pay day away. My car often runs on so little gas that it makes me laugh to think of it as a homeless Transformer that would be willing to give blowjobs in an alley for a gallon of unleaded. As long as I make it to work, I can deal with it.

One of the biggest upsides to being occasionally broke is that I think it has taught our kids that sometimes you just have to rough it in life and that things will eventually pick up no matter how bad they get. It’s kind of hard to tell them that, though, when they’re being fitted for their onion sacks for Picture Day, but someday I think they’ll get it.

I hope someday, I can make millions so that Jaime, the kids and I can look back on our tough times and laugh while our servants bring us fresh squeezed lemonade and fight their urges to kill us. I feel confident that I can make that happen for us. In the meantime, we’ll continue to make the most of what we have, which will include a family movie night where we sit on the couch, watching The Naked Gun movies as the ramen flows like water. Well, at least we’ll enjoy that until the electric gets cut off.

If you’d like to help keep my family and I knee deep in ramen and gas money, you can buy my books, Terrible Advice and Terrible Advice for Parents here.

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9 comments on “Advantages of Being Broke

  1. We’ve been there, as most people have, but you’re right, it builds character.

  2. I sure do know how to fancy up a family size serving of ramen with some canned corn and Tabasco. Cup o ramen is for payday.

  3. Where sir are these pugilistic equine of which you speak….
    I sir will take that 75.

    • Meet me at 7/11 and ill tell you Matt

  4. I love how this is so honest! I play Mom and Dad, my son doesn’t mind and we’ve eaten some ramen noodles in our time too! Lol I’ve rode 3days on the gas light and on day 3 the last 2 dollars in the bank will allow me to fill up the car, because with a certain gas station it doesn’t hit the bank for 2days, so I can get my check there safe n sound.

    Love your blog

    • I can definitely relate, Jennifer. You just make it work.

  5. This is freaking hysterical and so true! Lol. I can totally relate…

  6. Being a mother of 5 I have been there more often than I’d like to admit. Funny thing is my kids seem to enjoy the ‘broke’ dinner nights better than if I’d served them prime rib and lobster. On those days when there’s not enough ramen for the whole gang and one can of generic spaghetti O’s no longer can be stretched with a can of tomato soup to feed all I’ve come up with ‘fend for yourself night’. My children absolutely love it and have no clue that it’s because the pantry is void of enough ingredients to make a cohesive meal!

  7. I agree. Having ramen will put hair on our kids chest. The company we both worked for, my husband and I claimed bankruptcy and we were getting very creative and even had cow cheek because we couldn’t afford hamburger.

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